So I’m getting married…again. It’s exciting, and wonderful, and terrifying.
I never knew that a relationship could be easy until I met my fiance. In my first marriage, or past relationships, I always assumed the “you have to work at it” advice was due to the fact that relationships in and of themselves were difficult. I mistakenly thought that working at a relationship every day, struggling to keep your love in one piece was the nature of the beast.
Then I met my fiance…and it was just easy. It felt like a piece was falling into place, a piece I didn’t even know was missing. It was like I was able to let out a sigh of relief and I hadn’t even been aware I’d been holding my breath.
Our love story is not some epic tangle of ups and downs. There are no massive fights, breakups and tearful reunions. No one will ever make a movie about us. No romantic poems will be written. And the only love songs that will be sung about us will be country songs praising a solid, comforting place in the world, similar to an old arm-chair near the fire, which is not universally recognized as the sexiest piece of furniture.
All this isn’t to say we are perfect. In fact, I would say we’re solidly average. We argue. We piss each other off. We hold things inside until they burst forth in a torrent of anger and emotion. We makeup by talking things through. We follow the same patterns, day in and day out. We have our date nights. We try to slip some passion into our busy schedules. We spend most of our time talking about chores, family business, and various obligations. And my son is the center of our world. Essentially, we’re the same as thousands of other couples out there. And that’s perfect for me.
We’ve both been married before. We understand that epic love doesn’t generally equal happiness. We understand that even relationships that feel easy require work and effort. We’re both scared of failing, but I think that fear keeps us on our toes. We can’t take this for granted because we know what it’s like to go through the falling apart and picking things up again. We’re both painfully aware that nothing in this life is guaranteed.
We’re going to make the most of it, binding ourselves together with ropes of respect, friendship, humor, patience, and a little romance.
We’re going to make the most of this new chapter in our lives and, God willing, finish out our stories together.