I am a cheater. There! I said it out loud! It is both shameful and liberating to say it. I am not proud of it, but there’s no denying that it happened.
The worst part of it all is that I’m a librarian. We’re supposed to be above such things! But I couldn’t help it, I was just so frustrated, so confused. I suppose that’s what all cheaters say though, isn’t it?
I’m afraid now that it’s happened once, I’ll do it again.
I’m hoping my confession will keep me from cheating again.
Yes, I am a cheater. I….I…I read the end of my book before I was finished!
Had you watched me during that episode it would have appeared that I was actually committing some type of mortal sin. I looked around the bedroom, checked to make sure my fiance was actually asleep, and hurriedly, haphazardly flipped to a page at the end of the book. I scanned quickly and read only a paragraph before guilt overwhelmed me and I turned back to my place in the seventh chapter.
I’m sure my cheeks were as much aflame as my conscience.
Let me explain why though (as if there is ever a good enough reason for such a break with morality). I was reading the extremely popular Gone Girl and I was not enjoying it. In fact I was beginning to hate all of the characters in the book. I was confused by the obvious problems in narration. I had no idea where it was going. My frustration was quickly mounting to a crisis level. I put the book down for a time to try to regain some composure. I tried! But when I came back to it I was quickly overcome by frustration and desperation, forcing my hand. It’s almost as if I had no choice. If I hadn’t read that page in the back I might never have finished what was otherwise an interesting piece of literature. So you see, my cheating was a good thing. Yes???
Still, the guilt eats at me. I have never before read the end of the book prior to the natural progression. I was one of those who shook my head disappointedly at people who were confessed last page readers. Why? Why would they do such a thing? They were ruining the suspense, even the whole story arc of a book by doing that!
In my case I absolutely spoiled the story line. I did it willfully and purposefully! Perhaps it’s a credit to the author that her suspenseful novel drove me to such drastic measures as to break my own reading moral code. Perhaps it’s just a flaw in my character. I prefer to give the credit to Gillian Flynn.
If you’d like to read a great book about some interesting and awful people, read Gone Girl. Don’t read the end before you’re done. You’ll either regret it or be like me and sleep a little easier. As always, I advise you not to be like me…don’t be a cheater.