Last night was yet another night of nightmares, anxiety outpourings, and early morning wakeups. Since returning from vacation Connor has been plagued by bad dreams. Though he can’t communicate to me what these dreams are about, the fact that he clings to me, crying, whimpering my name clearly communicates that these dreams focus on my leaving him again. It breaks my heart.
So this morning is not going well. I’m exhausted. I have a headache. I’m downing enough caffeinated beverages to replace my blood stream.
But there is no amount of Tylenol and Diet Coke that can help me be the mommy I need to be. I just have to muscle through and keep my unraveling patience in check.
To make this bad day better I’m taking a little me time, just a little. In between doing the dishes, folding laundry, replacing burned out lightbulbs (which is oddly one of my least favorite chores, I don’t know why, but I really hate it), and various other household tasks, I’m taking a few minutes to sort myself out.
Here are my top three treats for today:
I ordered this dress on sale about a week ago and it came today. Yay! It’s a little dressy for running errands, picking up Connor from preschool, and sitting through therapy, but it makes me happy.
I bought the new Jason Aldean record. It literally came out today. It’s a little predictable, a little run-of the mill, but it’s familiar like slipping on an old sweatshirt. I’ve been listening to it on repeat. Country music makes me smile.
I booked a ticket to Chicago to see my little baby nephew, Baby N! And because I had a voucher from American for screwing up my vacation, I could afford to book my return flight in first class. FIRST CLASS!! Oh yeah!
Well, my alone time is almost done now, so I’m off to get my baby boy and enter the whirlwind of preschool emotions. But I already feel better. And I know we’ll survive today.